-its not the end.-

it's not the end. just keep walking.

it comes to a point where it dosent matter anymore. not the numbers, not the excuses. just a heart that purely want to love and serve God.

and yes, sometimes. we may stumble a little, trip over a little rock of rejection or depression or sometimes, we may even fall flat down on our face. and we give up. we tell God, we dont want to play anymore. it's not fun. but God says in matthew 12v20 "a bruised reed He will not break, and a smoking flax He will not quench, till He sends forth justice to victory"

i checked the amplified bible. it says "A bruised reed He will not break, and a smoldering (dimly burning) wick He will not quench" what does quench means ? it means He will not put it out.

a reed bruised because of past wrongdoings and hurts, rejection, low self esteem. God will not break it. instead, He will look after it till it's well again. a smoking flax He will not put out, but He will continue to add His oil upon it by the outpouring of the Holy Spirit.

it's not the end, friends. the light at the end may seem so dim that you start to give up. dont. just keep walking, as you get closer, His light will shine brighter.

as i type, i began to think of my aunt. how she strives to keep the family going despite her illness. bad things do happen to good people sometimes.

i saw how she limp her way to the mrt station just to go to the hospital for her injections. how she hide her bald head because she lost all her hair due to the chemo treatment. how she longed to be able to cook for her family once again. how she wanted to bring matthew to the bus stop to wait for his school bus. i saw how her face lit up whenever i visit her. how affectionately she calls me "mina". i saw how she had shrunk. i saw how she had lost so much weight. i saw how matthew drew picture of his ah ma waiting for him at the bus stop. i saw how matthew grew over the months, how he would pick his own toys up, how he would hold his ah ma's hand and tell her "ah ma, man man zhou"

i know it's not the end. i know as i keep on praying and fasting, she will get healed.

my God is mighty to save

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