Saturday, April 28, 2007

-a love so sweet-

i wanted to write something profound,
something that would blow you away.
but i thought well, why not just write something from my heart.


and as i began to type a whole chunk of the whatnots, how my bus got flooded, how i missed my bus three days in a row (yes, im determined not to take cabs to school anymore)
when the song came on my itunes
and i paused long enough for those long forgotten memories to come back to me


today marked the 49th day my grandma passed away
and im feeling especially grumpy and yeah, upset.

it's amazing how you can forget something that happened not too long ago
how you choose to believe that it wasnt such a big deal after all
afterall, they said that time will heal all wounds
they said, life still goes on

i cannot help but think
what if she was around when Benny Hinn was here
will she get healed then ?
what if ive spent the time to talk to her about Jesus
nevermind the language barrier
nevermind the fact that she dont exactly approve of my get out of house early and come home late habits
nevermind the fact that ive never talked to her for more than ten sentences every week


what matters most was that she care
how she cried when she passed us the last ang bao that will ever be given to us from her hands
and it always puzzled me why did the amount increased this year
was it because she knew that, that was her last chance ?
how she cried when we left her at the old folks home
was it because she knew that, she will never get to see us EVER again
or how she held on so tightly to my hands when we were about to leave the old folks home
how about the fact that she tried her very best to wait for all of us to get back to see her for the last time, but we missed it.



it seems as if everyone had gotten over it
it was just yet another funeral which we eventually had to conduct now, if not, later.
it seems like its wrong to talk about grandma these days
like the word "popo" never ever existed before

they say life must still go on
yeah. it must
except this time round,
it's without my grandma.


| s a n d y wrote this down @ 01:05|

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